Snapbacks and Gold Stars
by MJ.StudMuffin
Summary: Rachel's cousin moves to Ohio after getting kicked out of school for the fourth time in Los Angeles.
1. Chapter 1

Snapbacks and Gold Stars Chapter 1

Rachel's cousin moves to Ohio after getting kicked out of school for the fourth time in Los Angeles.

Loud murmurs and whispers could be heard throughout the hallways of McKinley High. That could probably mean one thing. Either another teacher was found to be sleeping with a student again or a new student was now entering the slightly entertaining but still boring world of McKinley High.

Quinn Fabray quietly closes her locker and turns her head in the direction that seems to be where the source of all the gossiping is coming from. Wondering what has the hallways so busy she walks towards the crowd.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

Rachel Berry, McKinley High's resident diva and also loser, walks down the hallway arm in arm with Kurt Hummel. Kurt is... how do I put this? He's definitely not Rachel's boyfriend if that's what you were thinking, but that's another story for different time. Rachel is talking rapidly to Kurt about some play she is auditioning for when she bumps into a hard figure and falls on the floor.

"Oh man I'm sorry about that, I wasn't really looking where I was—"the figure started to say, but was immediately cut off by Rachel.

"MJ is that you?" She asked.

"Huh? Rachel? What the fuck are you doing here?" The person apparently known as MJ asked.

Rachel slightly pouted at the swear word.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Last time I checked you lived in Los Angeles. And must you curse all the time? I already told you how unbecoming it is." Rachel starts to ramble but is stopped by MJ.

"Yo munchkin calm down. I guess my mom didn't tell Uncle Leroy we were coming to live in Ohio. And now that I think about it that's kind of weird." MJ says.

Kurt finally snaps out of the tennis match stare he has going on. You know, the stare where your eyeballs move back and forth from one side to the other.

"Wait did you say Uncle Leroy? Isn't that your dad Rachel?" Kurt finally asked.

"Well yea. Rachel's dad is my uncle, which makes Rachel my cousin. Hey, Rach did you know we were related?" MJ asks with a serious face.

"MJ you know very well you are my cousin. Even though you insist on flirting with me still." Rachel says with the roll of her eyes.

Kurt looks more confused than ever and decides just to leave it alone because anything involved with Rachel Berry is bound to get more confusing.

"Why did you and Aunt Donna move to Ohio anyway? Did you get into more trouble?" Rachel raised her eyebrows and questioned

"WHAT? Why does it have to be my fault?" MJ says with a pout.

"Because you have a knack for getting yourself into these terrible situations. Like the time you got arrested for trying to fight Goofy in Disneyland." Rachel countered back.

"Hey it wasn't my fault. Goofy was total hitting on my mom" MJ raises her hands up to show she's innocent.

"You were high." The short brunette countered again.

"What does that have to do with anything?" MJ asked.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

While MJ and Rachel continued to go back and forth, Quinn finally sees what has McKinley gossiping. A tall African American girl wearing a Chicago Bulls jersey with the matching snapback and a pair of Jordans talking to the very short argyle wearing, Rachel Berry. Quinn continues to watch the two from across the hall.

"Why the hell is the new kid talking to Rachel? And why is she so tall?" Quinn mutters to herself and continues to watch the two.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

"So, that's how I tipped a cow." MJ finishes.

Kurt is beyond confused at the moment.

_When did we start talking about cows? Why is MJ so tall? _Kurt thinks to himself as he cranes his neck to look at MJ's face.

_Wow she has those ear thingys. I think there called gauges. She has pretty good sense of style. _

"DUDE! What the hell? I've been calling your name for like ten hours" MJ shouts.

"Huh? Oh. I was just thinking.." Kurt mumbles.

"Ok.. Any way MJ, me and Kurt have to get to class. We do like to pass class unlike someone I know" Rachel says to MJ as she and Kurt walks to their next class.

"Hey I like passing class. I just don't like making the effort to actually do it." MJ yells back.

MJ starts walking down the hall again and finally notices everyone staring at her.

"What the fuck? They act like they've never seen a black person before" MJ says to herself.

She continues to down the hall way and sees this hot Latina walking in a cheerleading uniform.

"Wow, she is so hot." MJ says out loud to no one in particular.

"I know dude. I wanna tap that" some guy with a Mohawk says.

"AH! Dude you just can't roll up on me like that. Who are you?" MJ screams.

Mohawk dude chuckles a little before giving MJ a dap.

"I'm Puck. You must be new around here." Puck says

"Yea I am. Just came in town last night" MJ giving him a dap back.

"I'm MJ by the way" she says.

"So.. do you smoke weed?" Puck asks.

"Do I smoke weed? DO EYE SMOKE WEED? Of course I do man. I'm the female Wiz Khalifa." MJ replies.

"I think we are gonna be bros for a long time. Come on let's get out of here and smoke under the bleachers." Puck says and he bumps fists with MJ.

That's the end of Chapter 1. It's a little story I've decided to write. It's probably going to be my baby for a while. To see how MJ looks you can check my profile and what not. Um, this story is going to be a comedy. Those 'nanananana' should actually be read as the Batman theme song and they also double as breaks in the page. Faberry, Brittana, and OC/OC. Any other pairings you guys want to see let me know in reviews and I'll think about it lol. If you want to follow my twitter go ahead. That's probably the best way to see if I'm working on the story or what I am doing with my life at the moment. Everything will be mentioned on my profile so. Read and Review guys thanks.

P.S. Yes I am the real life MJ. So most scenes about her probably happened to me or is something I would do. Keep that in mind. LMAO


	2. Chapter 2

Snapbacks and Gold Stars Chapter 1

Rachel's cousin moves to Ohio after getting kicked out of school for the fourth time in Los Angeles.

"Dude, is this the shit you smoke all the time?" MJ asked while taking a hit.  
>"Yea. Why what's wrong with it?" puck answered back.<br>"Nothing just this shit is just weak. I got a guy who will get you some better stuff. He supposed to be in town next week. But for now..I'll give you some of this sour I have left." MJ said while passing the joint back to Puck.  
>"I'm still high, but I think we should smoke a bogey after." She continued while watching Puck take a drag.<br>"What the hell is a bogey?" he said looking real confused.  
>"Is that like some type of other drug? Cause I don't do drugs." he said after thinking about it.<br>"No, you fucktard. It's slang for cigarette." MJ said rolling up another joint.  
>"Oh. So why didn't you just say so?" puck countered.<br>"Dude you are so high!" MJ said laughing obnoxiously.  
>Puck then started laughing. Then they looked at each other and started laughing even harder.<br>"MJ you sound just like Cleveland when you laugh dude." Puck said and started laughing even harder.  
>"Duuuude! I get that a lot. Whatever, we should head to our next class. I think I'm smarter when I'm high." MJ said after laughing.<br>The two get up and crawl out from the bleachers. They enter the school again and start walking around aimlessly.  
>"Wait weren't we supposed to be going somewhere?" Puck asked after stopping in front the girls' locker room.<br>"Um, I don't know I think we were going..hey is that the girls' locker room?" she started walking inside.  
>"Hey, no fair I can't go in there dude." Puck yelled after her.<br>"Man, stop being a pussy and come on. Well on second thought made you should start being one." MJ started laughing with that annoying Cleveland laugh.  
>"That wasn't even funny though." Puck said looking confused.<br>"Just come on Puck." MJ started pulling Puck in the girls locker room.  
>The two started creeping around when they heard a bunch of girls coming in.<br>"Oh my God what are we gonna do!" Puck whispered harshly.  
>"HIDE!" they said at the same time.<br>Now we have MJ and Puck hiding in a large hamper full of spankies and Cheerios uniforms.  
>"Hey Puck you think we're gonna see some naked girls in here?"<p>

"Puck..?"  
>"Dude are sniffing spankies? What the fuck?"<br>"You have to smell these dude. This is so awesome!"  
>"You're so gross! Pass me one." MJ said laughing.<br>Girls finally pour into the locker room and start taking off their clothes. A hot brunette's back is facing toward MJ and Puck.

"Yo check out the ass on that one bro." MJ said pointing at the brunette.  
>"I know man. It's like the perfect ass."<br>"I'd so bend that over and hit it from behind." 

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

Rachel walks in with the rest of the girls in her gym class. She walks to her locker and starts undressing to change back in her argyle sweater. She's quietly humming to herself when she starts to hear loud whispers.  
>"Diamond, do you hear that?" she directs her question at the black girl next to her getting changed.<br>"No. I don't hear anything." Diamond answered back.  
>They both stop moving and listen carefully.<p>

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

"Look at the girl next to the white chick." MJ said loudly.  
>"I know man. I never noticed how hot the girls are in this school til now." Puck replied eyeing down the girl.<br>"Hey Puck is it me or did it just get really quiet?"  
>Within seconds the sheet covering the hamper is ripped off and MJ and Puck come face to face with the hot brunette they were eyeing earlier.<br>"MJ!" "OMG RACHEL!"  
>"AHHH MY EYES OH MY GOD! I NEED SOAP! SOMEONE SHOOT ME!" MJ starts yelling and screaming<br>"What are you doing in here MJ and is that Noah?" Rachel says.  
>"Noah I know that's you get out of there!"<br>"Um, hey Rachel" Puck says while rubbing the back of his neck looking around sheepishly.  
>"I can't believe I wanted to have sexual relations with my cousin!" MJ starts mumbling "I'm officially going to hell now."<br>Rachel stands on her toes and grabs MJ and Puck by their ears.  
>"Do you know how lucky you two are that it was just me and Diamond over here? MJ you're lucky I don't tell Aunt Donna."<br>"Rachel, what? No! You can't tell the boss lady" MJ starts sobbing like a 5 year old.  
>"MJ..MJ! I'm not gonna tell her"<br>"Dude are you crying?" Puck starts laughing hysterically.  
>"Man you don't know my mom. She is like so scary. You can't even look her in the eye or you'll turn to stone." MJ said while wiping the snot from her nose.<br>"MJ stop exaggerating. Honestly, I thought you stopped this sneaking into locker room nonsense"

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

While Rachel is busy reprimanding MJ, MJ's mind starts to wonder off.  
><em>Oh here we go now the munchkin is never going to shut up.<br>She starts looking around and spots Diamond glaring at her  
>Woah that chick is so sexy. Haha. I wonder if she knows she doesn't have any clothes on? Nah she totally doesn't. Her boobs are so big. Wait why are they moving closer. Dude I'm not that high.<br>_SMACK!  
>"Ow, what the fuck?" MJ yells.<br>"Stop staring at my breasts, perve!" Diamond says after smacking MJ.  
>"Could you really blame me though? They were just out there."<br>SMACK!  
>"Ow! What the hell was that for Rachel?"<br>"For cursing and being a pervert. Do you think of anything else besides sex?" Rachel scolds.  
>MJ gets this smirk on her face.<br>"You know what don't answer that." she says with a deep sigh.  
>"Puck, take my cousin out of here."<br>"Come on bro." Puck says while dragging MJ from the locker room.  
>The two friends start walking down the hallway again.<br>"Man, that Diamond chick so likes me" MJ states.  
>"I highly doubt that." Puck replies<br>"She totally does. She was giving me the 'look'. "  
>"The look? Really? Have you ever even dated a girl?"<br>"Yea, this from the guy who was sniffing spankies." MJ says and punches Puck in the arm.  
>"Hey you were doing it too!" Puck said punching MJ back.<br>"So! You did it first"  
>MJ and Puck start shoving each other. Then stop looks at each other and begin to laugh.<br>"Whatever man. Diamond is so gonna be mine."

So that was my little update guys. Now you guys are probably wondering how Quinn is going to tie into this story. Well next chapter she is definitely going to be in it. Diamond is my original character my btw. I hope you guys enjoyed the buffoonery in this chapter. Remember follow my twitter if you want to contact me on when the next chapter is going to be up MJ_StudMuffin. And thank you to all of you guys who reviewed, put me on their alerts and their favorites. Ok I'm going to stop now this is starting to sound like a Grammys speech. Don't forget to review guys.


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